What's Left Behind
by SpectrumSpeed
Summary: Honoka is graduating, but she's not sure she's ready to move on just yet. Written for Final Live's first anniversary.


The sun is setting. That probably means it's time for her to go, but Honoka does not move from her spot on the rooftop. Not yet. It's the last time she'll get to see the view from here, and she wants to burn it into her heart and her mind, especially since she hasn't actually been on the roof very often recently.

In the first few days of the school year, Honoka had come up to the roof with Umi and Kotori for old times' sake, and sometimes to give advice to Yukiho and Alisa and their new group of school idols. The six remaining members of μ's had also tried practicing there a few times, but they all quickly agreed that it felt wrong, so they moved their practices to the Idol Research Clubroom. They had said goodbye to this rooftop along with the name _μ's_.

Maybe that's the real reason Honoka is keeping her gaze out to the city, because that way she doesn't have to face what she knows she has to. But soon enough, she does turn. She doesn't know what she's expecting, but the silence and emptiness creates a feeling in her chest that's not quite sadness but it still hurts. She stares at the spot where she wrote their name down last year. It evaporated a long time ago, and suddenly it occurs to Honoka that there is no evidence of all the time they spent here, no mark left behind.

It's messing with her head, she _knows_ that that mark was supposed to disappear, but it makes the aching in her heart get stronger anyway. Honoka closes her eyes, and for a second she can almost hear the sound of everyone laughing and talking as they take a quick break during practice. Nico is bugging Maki about something in the corner, while Umi is discussing a part of the choreography with Eli. Rin is helping Hanayo with the new move, and Kotori is making a small adjustment to a piece of a costume for Nozomi.

Honoka's body moves on its own, and she starts dancing. She starts out coherent enough, but without anything specific to practice she soon starts randomly jumping from dance to dance, movement to movement with no rhyme or reason. Songs echo in her head, she tries to sing along, but she has to focus on the movements or else she'll lose it. Step, step, turn, if she lets her concentration waver then she'll mess up and then–and then it'll disappear. One, two, three, four, one, two, three–

"Uwaa!" Honoka misses a step and falls ungracefully on her butt. "Ow...at least I'm still the same..." she tries to laugh it off to herself, but the moment was broken and she can feel the pain in her chest coming back. Another look at the setting sun reminds her that she should really get going, but she can't bring herself to get back up.

Then suddenly the door opens and Kotori steps through. "Honoka-chan! We thought you'd be here."

Umi follows out from behind her. Honoka doesn't think they saw her fall, but they aren't even surprised to find her on the floor and automatically move to help her up. "What were you doing?" Umi asks.

Honoka doesn't really know how to explain it, and she's not even sure herself. Still, she tries. "I kinda felt like dancing, and, well, I tripped," she says with a nervous laugh.

Umi shakes her head. "Typical. Never change, Honoka."

"It's not like I _like_ tripping all the time," Honoka whines. They share a laugh before falling silent. Honoka wonders if Kotori and Umi get that same pain in their chests, too. She opens her mouth, but she can't find the words she wants to say.

"What is it, Honoka-chan?" Kotori asks. Both Umi and Kotori are looking at her with curiosity and a bit of concern.

Honoka changes course. "Just thinking about-how hungry I am." She tacks on a laugh at the end, and while she's sure they're not completely convinced they don't say anything. "Are we going anywhere to eat?"

Kotori smiles. "Yeah! Everyone's ready to go, we were just looking for you." At this, Honoka finally notices everyone else standing in the stairwell. Their underclassmen, the soon-to-be third years, have the same nervous ' _That's us next year'_ smile that Honoka remembers seeing on many of her classmates a year ago. Their graduated upperclassmen, meanwhile, are wearing expressions that are more like ' _Welcome to the other side'_.

"Everyone...is here!" Honoka feels a few stray tears running down her cheeks, but she ignores them. She turns her back on the setting sun as she gives them all a bright smile. "Alright, then let's go!"

And then she takes off running. She runs past them all into the stairwell. She runs down the stairs, she runs through the halls, and she runs out the gate, only stopping because the light is red. She remembers standing at the same spot the previous year, about to bid farewell to her upperclassmen. She remembers secretly being scared about what would happen to the bonds between them. Even though it wasn't her graduating, she was afraid of what the future held for the nine of them. Honoka wonders why it is that now, at her own graduation, she doesn't feel afraid. Not of the future, anyway. She turns and looks back at the school. No, what she was afraid of now was the past, she realizes, afraid it would slip right through her fingers no matter how hard she tried to hold onto it.

As she is struggling with this new thought, everyone else catches up to her. "What...all of a sudden?" Umi pants out.

Despite the aching of her heart, Honoka laughs and shrugs. "Sorry, I just suddenly felt like it." And then, before she can stop herself, she decides to ask them a question. "Hey, Umi, Kotori." It's the most serious Honoka's ever been, and her childhood friends notice immediately. "Are you happy, graduating like this?"

Umi tilts her head, definitely noticing her unusual demeanour. "What do you mean?"

Honoka tries again. "Do you think we left our marks behind?" She's not even sure she knows what she's saying at this point, but it's the only way she can think of to ask them what she really wants to and she breathes a sigh of relief when she recognizes understanding in their faces. Relief then turns to confusion as she watches them share a look and a giggle, the way they do when Honoka is missing something incredibly obvious.

Kotori speaks first. "Honoka," she starts, matching her friend's seriousness despite the confident smile on her face, "close your eyes and listen." Honoka obeys. "What do you hear?"

"It's...noisy," Honoka offers. Umi doesn't even get to sigh in exasperation before Honoka continues, "It's really noisy. There's still a lot of people around. They're...saying their goodbyes, or making some last-minute plans for their last high school days. It's noisy just like any other high school would be." She opens her eyes, not really getting it, but her two friends seem to be happy with her answer.

Umi answers the question she hasn't asked. "Remember, Honoka, _you_ are the reason for everything you're hearing. _You_ are the reason that all these people are still here. _That_ is your mark." And then, with a wistful tone, she adds, "It's certainly a lot louder than an empty auditorium, isn't it?"

At those words, Honoka feels her chest lighten suddenly, and she lets go of a breath she didn't know she was holding. "I see...yeah, that's it! Thanks, Umi-chan, Kotori-chan!"

With an energized shout, Honoka starts running once again, this time with her dearest friends right beside her. She runs, and this time she does not stop.

* * *

 **I had the idea for this fic waaay back in August, around the time I wrote Orange Sunset. I wrote a draft for it, but it didn't seem to be really going anywhere, so I shelved it. A few weeks ago, I suddenly realized that I could turn it into something to commemorate Final Live, and...well, here we are. I tried a few things here that I haven't before, and I hope it's to everyone's liking ^^;**

 **I've got something else I want to post for the second day of Final Live, but I'm not sure I'll have it ready in time. Oh well, my fault for procrastinating :V**


End file.
